The V Word

  Staring at the ceiling I count  To feel the time pass by Living an engrossed life Made me forget the presence of it The feel of looking at the night sky  And thinking of stars as my ancestors  Come to think of it, when did I grow so much? That I forgot these moments surround me everyday Making me feel more alive  But being too occupied in the shell of life attainment I overlooked what living a life truly is!

staying up in night i wonder what it felt to be a child again trying to gather memories  of what i did when i was a child thinking whether that mischievousness was enough  could have i laughed a little more to cry a little less today if i could have changed the past would there had been a leaf not turned? just to end up coming today  thinking of changing things all over again

 sitting by the sunset i watch the sun go down clouds crowning the sky just for the night the way my consciousness goes down thoughts crowning my mind  just for the night dawn giving rise to a new day clouds making entry for the sun just for the day making me awake to the reality focusing on the path that appears just for the day!

she sits in the darkness in a way it fits her so well a blooming flower now dried up but the soil still tries to make her bloom she was a cotton of black soil sown in sandy soil to be a cactus!

 time flies by  but the feelings i have why don't they? every minute i overthink a thought hoping it might change what i feel but then my feelings  they heighten up  i cant accept what i feel because for the one i feel i don't wanna let him know how bad it hurts to see him leave.

We meet people in our life, get close to them and sometimes fall in love with them. But when we look back in our life, say 2 year, we find the people who had been in our lives back then are somewhat different. It is a stupid question if one asks if they had lost someone in their life. When in this present world, some people loose themselves over their addictions. And now, losing people isn't a big deal, the big deal is having people in our life who can stay by our side till our death. And in finding those who will stay, we let go of the people close to us.  What would one do without anyone to share their joy with?  And without someone who would drink with you in your sorrows? We meet hundreds of people in our life, physically, and hundreds of other people on social media,  mentally, having so many people across you and you still end up being alone when sad. What is this? This is what we do, we isolate ourselves from others when we need them the most, scared of showing them our weak

  You too find it difficult in moving on right? I find moving on a good thing for myself. The next time you come in a relation of any kind let i be a friendship or your parents siblings or relationship with your partner, you can easily find out the things which your previous relationship made it end and make you think that this one would end up like that too, so you try to go slow and prefer not to make the same the mistakes like the last one. But some of the people find it difficult and nearly destroy themselves for someone who doesn't even think of them once, for them, they are stuck there at that moment only whereas you need to be like  time, whatever happens you need to keep moving on regardless of how you feel for whom you feel. If the other person could live happily after all the shit between the two why the hell do you suffer then? Why don't we think of those days as happy days which will now happen with someone else? Half of the people in love right now would somehow ei

do you cry too? do you make mistakes?  do you love someone and learn to let that person go? do you expect something from someone? do you feel hurt when they don't match up to it? i too feel the same feels like everyone does 'coz we all are the same imperfect but humans

sitting in the balcony in the cold winter night inhaling the breeze with a cup of coffee in my hand it's hard to not remember you but what's more hard is   accepting that i won't be able to talk to you the moon shining at its brightest showing me light in the dark but not helping me find my way back to you  the coffee strikes me in the throat but the taste of your lips is still on my tongue

i sit here alone no one to talk to listening to the rain thinking it has someone too to love and to fall on and here i lay upon on my own turning again and again on my bed hoping to sleep like a winter bear my tears falling like the rain drops sometimes like the drizzle  while some days like the hail though without any noise  i lighten my heavy clouds  present within me.

i wish i could fly above  in the high blue sky with all the birds  who don't lie i wish i could swim in the ocean to get to know what really deep is in there with all big small animals  to learn to live on my own i wish i could trust everyone  in the life i am given to know the people whom i know and to believe that everyone is pure.